we all wonder if our lives could have been different. the choices we make throughout our lives are what moulds our lives. it's amazing how such a seemingly insignificant decision can cause such changes in our lives.
i wonder what would have happened if i...
1. stayed in CHIJ instead of going to canossa my entire course of life would have changed
2. chose CHIJ instead of SAC sec sch stage. the above was pri/kindergarten
3. didn't give up piano
4. didn't have that accident in sec 1
5. didn't choose choir cca things would have been so different. i realise now that being in choir has been the catalyst for so many things
6. didn't promise to join church choir yes, i only joined the church choir because claudia and lynette 'pestered' me and i told them i'll join after confirmation
7. chose to go 3/8 instead of 3/6 i fantasised about 3/8 cos my senior was from there. they take pure chem so i could have taken bio which i yearned to do. wanted to do genetics
8. went to CJC for 1st 3 months instead of MJ
9. picked VJC after the results instead of MJ
10. went to science stream
11. decided to drop econs and take history i keep wondering this throughout my 2 years in jc
12. didn't tell my crush my feelings for him i'll forever wonder about this. did i do the right thing?
13. went to visit aunty rosie when i went to england last march this is possibly the biggest regret i have so far in my life. ask me if you want to know the full story
14. managed to contact mdm yew about the attachment
15. didn't meet all the people and make friends that i know now how different my life would have been.
i only put in things that i had control over and not things like my personality and what other people do that impact me. there's probably a billion more things i wonder about.
p.s. if a shrink were to see this list, i wonder what he would say about me.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Saturday, January 29, 2005
parallels in the bible?
Putting aside all the prophecies and obvious predictions, do you think that maybe there are some events in the old testament that ‘foreshadow’ events happening in the new testament? I know it may be a bit or a lot of a stretch but let me show you some examples.
Temptation to turn away from god: in the old testament, the devil sent job many misfortunes to try to induce him to curse god and deny god. but job resisted and in the end, god blessed him. in the new testament, the devil tempted Jesus in the desert, wanting him to deny god. but Jesus resisted and angels came and looked after him.
Sacrifice your only son: in the old testament, Abraham was instructed to offer issac up as a sacrifice to god. Abraham obeyed. issac was willing. just in time, god saved him. Abraham became the father of a great nation because of this. in the new testament, jesus was the willing sacrifice and god raised him to life again. because of this, Christianity was formed.
Curses into blessings: in the old testament, balaam was on his way to curse Israel. but along the way, he met an angel who warned him about his evilness. balaam ended up blessing Israel instead of cursing it. in the new testament, saul was “breathing threats and murder against the disciples” (gosh, I love that phrase). but he met jesus who warned him about his evilness. saul ended up converted and became paul.
you will have a son: in the old testament, sarah, abraham’s wife, was barren but was told she was to have a son, despite her old age. sarah doubted but god proved her wrong. her son, issac, became a great man. in the new testament, Elizabeth was barren but they were told that she would have a son. zechariah doubted and he was proved wrong. their son, john the Baptist, became a great man.
ascension: apparently, jesus wasn’t the only one to ascend like that into heaven. in the old testament, the prophet Elijah ascended into heaven with fire and wind, chariot of god.
raising the dead: in the new testament, jesus raised the little girl and also lazarus from the dead. in the old testament, Elijah raised a child from the dead too by calling on the power of the lord.
these are just some parallels that I found. I guess someone with a deeper knowledge of the bible would be able to find more. this foreshadowing thing is really interesting. I’m sure there’s a purpose for it, even if I don’t know what that purpose is. in lit, foreshadowing is used to heighten the dramatic effect of the text. but in the bible? maybe it’s just coincidence. or is god trying to tell us something here?
speaking of coincidence, this is my favourite. it’s not foreshadowing. in the new testament, after the disciples met jesus after the resurrection, ref john 21. jesus told them to cast their nets out. and they drew in 153 fish. curious about this precise number. I did my research. I believe the fish represent the nations in the world. if you count the number of countries in the world, considering those split countries as one, you get approx 153. coincidence? interesting.
Temptation to turn away from god: in the old testament, the devil sent job many misfortunes to try to induce him to curse god and deny god. but job resisted and in the end, god blessed him. in the new testament, the devil tempted Jesus in the desert, wanting him to deny god. but Jesus resisted and angels came and looked after him.
Sacrifice your only son: in the old testament, Abraham was instructed to offer issac up as a sacrifice to god. Abraham obeyed. issac was willing. just in time, god saved him. Abraham became the father of a great nation because of this. in the new testament, jesus was the willing sacrifice and god raised him to life again. because of this, Christianity was formed.
Curses into blessings: in the old testament, balaam was on his way to curse Israel. but along the way, he met an angel who warned him about his evilness. balaam ended up blessing Israel instead of cursing it. in the new testament, saul was “breathing threats and murder against the disciples” (gosh, I love that phrase). but he met jesus who warned him about his evilness. saul ended up converted and became paul.
you will have a son: in the old testament, sarah, abraham’s wife, was barren but was told she was to have a son, despite her old age. sarah doubted but god proved her wrong. her son, issac, became a great man. in the new testament, Elizabeth was barren but they were told that she would have a son. zechariah doubted and he was proved wrong. their son, john the Baptist, became a great man.
ascension: apparently, jesus wasn’t the only one to ascend like that into heaven. in the old testament, the prophet Elijah ascended into heaven with fire and wind, chariot of god.
raising the dead: in the new testament, jesus raised the little girl and also lazarus from the dead. in the old testament, Elijah raised a child from the dead too by calling on the power of the lord.
these are just some parallels that I found. I guess someone with a deeper knowledge of the bible would be able to find more. this foreshadowing thing is really interesting. I’m sure there’s a purpose for it, even if I don’t know what that purpose is. in lit, foreshadowing is used to heighten the dramatic effect of the text. but in the bible? maybe it’s just coincidence. or is god trying to tell us something here?
speaking of coincidence, this is my favourite. it’s not foreshadowing. in the new testament, after the disciples met jesus after the resurrection, ref john 21. jesus told them to cast their nets out. and they drew in 153 fish. curious about this precise number. I did my research. I believe the fish represent the nations in the world. if you count the number of countries in the world, considering those split countries as one, you get approx 153. coincidence? interesting.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Dear Diary...
went out with poh lin yesterday. went to watch "shall we dance?" so cool. reminded me of the a101 days dancing "sway" in the LT. the movie is so inspiring. i think the message behind it is to follow your dreams and to find your happiness. of course there were some funny moments. me and poh lin were laughing so hard at the character 'bobby'. she's so auntie. haha! i bet the whole theatre heard us. and that bald guy is hilarious. but what a great dancer. keep thinking about the part when he and richard gere were practicing waltz in the office toilet and someone walked in on them. so that guy pretended to faint and richard gere was like, "call 911! call 911!" :D j.lo was ok. what a figure. woah!! anyway, poh lin rebonded her hair. she looks really nice now. more elegant i think. love the cinema at shaw towers. so big! like an auditorium. and the seats are aligned such that there's no blockage from people in front. the only other place like that that i've been is the royal shakespheare theatre in england. cool. but yesterday's show was so empty.
moving on. don't know if it's just my blog but the tag board isn't working. i hope it wasn't anything i did. if it is than i know what it is. it's the putting in of the video. heeheehee. that wasn't from the video codes website. i just loaded it from some place else. hopefully it didn't screw up the thing. :D should check if other people's tag board is working or not. hm... verena's board isn't working either it seems.
sumi's got a dog. a mini maltese male called nino. she says it's exactly like what i imagined, little doggy hyperactively bouncing all over the house. wanna go visit. maybe tomorrow if duan hui's going. can have a little friend reunion together at the same time.
shi yun's having a concert with the vocal concert on 4 feb. and i guess i'm going with me, myself and irene. ;( sumi, duan hui, toh ying all not going. but i'm such a sucker for things like this. plus i already told shi yun that i'm going so can't really back out now. never mind. it's just a concert where you sit down and shut up so i shouldn't be too lonely. hopefully jasmine and zaidah are going. shi yun says they have yet to confirm with her. hope they go. then i won't be so lonely.
a101 is organising a chalet thing in first week of march. don't know if i'm going. prob i just go for the barbecue. but that depends also. heard the o level results are coming out 23 feb. so ours should be coming out around there also. so nervous. haven't replied wanjing on the chalet thing yet. i thought it was a wrong message cos she normally doesn't msg me and the msg sounded like she was discussing with cla or something.
so sad, have to attend choir practice this sat. saw posters that the church is screening "the fourth wise man" at that time. darn. i wanted to watch that ever since a long time ago. that time sac showed it halfway. really wanted to see what happened in the end. andrew said that at the end, the guy really met up with jesus on easter. so cool. after chasing and just missing him, the wise man got the best meeting of all. don't know what happens in between but andrew says it's good. so maybe i'll consider ponning choir. haha!! sorry dawn!
hmm...any other stuff? going once...oh ya! remembered. watched that show "desperate housewives" yesterday. so nice having a tv in my room. that show is so...erm...interesting. loved the part when the divorced mother was flirting with the plumber that lives opposite. she made her daughter purposely stick ice cream sticks into the sink together with hair, peaunt butter, food... heehee. desperate. and that woman who was having an affair with the gardener. her husband wanted to sack the guy cos he didn't do his job (he was having sex with the woman when he was supposed to be gardening) so the woman sneaked back to the house when her husband was at a party and mowed the lawn in that elegant evening gown. dotz. very interesting show.
moving on. don't know if it's just my blog but the tag board isn't working. i hope it wasn't anything i did. if it is than i know what it is. it's the putting in of the video. heeheehee. that wasn't from the video codes website. i just loaded it from some place else. hopefully it didn't screw up the thing. :D should check if other people's tag board is working or not. hm... verena's board isn't working either it seems.
sumi's got a dog. a mini maltese male called nino. she says it's exactly like what i imagined, little doggy hyperactively bouncing all over the house. wanna go visit. maybe tomorrow if duan hui's going. can have a little friend reunion together at the same time.
shi yun's having a concert with the vocal concert on 4 feb. and i guess i'm going with me, myself and irene. ;( sumi, duan hui, toh ying all not going. but i'm such a sucker for things like this. plus i already told shi yun that i'm going so can't really back out now. never mind. it's just a concert where you sit down and shut up so i shouldn't be too lonely. hopefully jasmine and zaidah are going. shi yun says they have yet to confirm with her. hope they go. then i won't be so lonely.
a101 is organising a chalet thing in first week of march. don't know if i'm going. prob i just go for the barbecue. but that depends also. heard the o level results are coming out 23 feb. so ours should be coming out around there also. so nervous. haven't replied wanjing on the chalet thing yet. i thought it was a wrong message cos she normally doesn't msg me and the msg sounded like she was discussing with cla or something.
so sad, have to attend choir practice this sat. saw posters that the church is screening "the fourth wise man" at that time. darn. i wanted to watch that ever since a long time ago. that time sac showed it halfway. really wanted to see what happened in the end. andrew said that at the end, the guy really met up with jesus on easter. so cool. after chasing and just missing him, the wise man got the best meeting of all. don't know what happens in between but andrew says it's good. so maybe i'll consider ponning choir. haha!! sorry dawn!
hmm...any other stuff? going once...oh ya! remembered. watched that show "desperate housewives" yesterday. so nice having a tv in my room. that show is so...erm...interesting. loved the part when the divorced mother was flirting with the plumber that lives opposite. she made her daughter purposely stick ice cream sticks into the sink together with hair, peaunt butter, food... heehee. desperate. and that woman who was having an affair with the gardener. her husband wanted to sack the guy cos he didn't do his job (he was having sex with the woman when he was supposed to be gardening) so the woman sneaked back to the house when her husband was at a party and mowed the lawn in that elegant evening gown. dotz. very interesting show.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Ode to the Nice Guys
This is a tribute to the nice guys.. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bit@hing about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores..
This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support... This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern.. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl¡¦s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style..
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they¡¦re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway..
For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don¡¦t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you..
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner... And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn¡¦t worry about it..
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you¡¦d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world... And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor..
This is also for that time she didn¡¦t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing ¡§serious¡¨ between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: ¡§oh, but we¡¦re just friends!¡¨ And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you¡¦re nice like that..
The nice guys don¡¦t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don¡¦t seem to get laid as often as they should.. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can¡¦t.. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bit@hes...
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as ¡§oh, he¡¦s too nice to date¡¨ or ¡§he would be a good boyfriend but he¡¦s not for me¡¨ or ¡§he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn¡¦t possibly ask him out!¡¨ or the most frustrating of all: ¡§no, it would ruin our friendship.¡¨
Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can¡¦t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I¡¦m going to sleep with this complete ass now!)...
But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn¡¦t last forever... There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single...
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys... You know who you are, and I know you¡¦re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile...
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you... You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming...
This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support... This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern.. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl¡¦s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style..
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they¡¦re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway..
For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don¡¦t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you..
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner... And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn¡¦t worry about it..
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you¡¦d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world... And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor..
This is also for that time she didn¡¦t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing ¡§serious¡¨ between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: ¡§oh, but we¡¦re just friends!¡¨ And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you¡¦re nice like that..
The nice guys don¡¦t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don¡¦t seem to get laid as often as they should.. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can¡¦t.. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bit@hes...
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as ¡§oh, he¡¦s too nice to date¡¨ or ¡§he would be a good boyfriend but he¡¦s not for me¡¨ or ¡§he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn¡¦t possibly ask him out!¡¨ or the most frustrating of all: ¡§no, it would ruin our friendship.¡¨
Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can¡¦t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I¡¦m going to sleep with this complete ass now!)...
But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn¡¦t last forever... There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single...
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys... You know who you are, and I know you¡¦re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile...
For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you... You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming...
Friday, January 21, 2005
what a find!
as i was surfing around, i came across the clay aiken message board. i saw this thread talking about video montages. so i clicked the link. and i saw this montage entitled "Kyrie". wah, so excited. thought it was the kyrie that we sing in church. stupid thinking actually. why would clay sing that song? i downloaded it anyway and played it. at first, didn't recognise it but
...listen...listen...listen...OMG!!!!!!! IT'S THAT SONG!!! remember when i was in england, the bus driver was playing the song. "...kyrie eleison through the darkness of the night... ..." i was looking all over for this song. but i had unfortunately forgotten about it since last march. until now, i haven't heard it in it's entirety. *g* it's my new fav song. :D
...listen...listen...listen...OMG!!!!!!! IT'S THAT SONG!!! remember when i was in england, the bus driver was playing the song. "...kyrie eleison through the darkness of the night... ..." i was looking all over for this song. but i had unfortunately forgotten about it since last march. until now, i haven't heard it in it's entirety. *g* it's my new fav song. :D
quick update
well, my life is just like that now. tutoring andrew everyday. well almost everyday. and that's my job. :p
i have officially lost interest in that crazy story i was writing. haha.
i'm now looking for an idiot proof thing to put photos on my blog. haven't actually seen one that i like yet. but still looking.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
What does Love mean?
Message: A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8-year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 5
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate." Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 4
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - Age 5
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 8
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." Bethany - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
"Love,someone whom you simply cannot imagine your life without".Albino-age 4
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 5
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whom you hate." Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 4
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - Age 5
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 8
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." Bethany - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
"Love,someone whom you simply cannot imagine your life without".Albino-age 4
some clarification
hi there! i know some people are confused by what i recently posted. well, it's actually my attempts at fiction writing. i created the yalcs long time ago on my (now defunct) 'phenomenal dreamscape' blog. lately, i've got time on my hands so i'm fooling around with the world of fantasy fiction. yups, so hopefully you don't get too bored when u read it. :D
Friday, January 14, 2005
Part 2: Whispers from Outside
Evas Lake, being the absolute centre of Naidirem, was the bustling 'business centre' and 'meeting area'. The pub on the east bank of the Evas Lake, Ehtay Ahyppay Uohray (aka The Happy Hour), was the favourite meeting place of the yalcs to exchange news. Evening, after a good dinner, the sociable mood would generally take over the yalcs. heading to Ehtay Ahyppay Uohray for a nice cold drink and a long chat was enjoyed by all yalc clans alike.
This night was no different. Nekia Nebur Yalc slid into his usual seat at the pub and was immediately joined by his friends Reggit Sirhc Yalc, Oisac Ovon Yalc and Ydegart Emarf Yalc. Every evening since time immemorial, they had met at the same spot. Except that, instead of the usually empty seat next to Oisac, there was now a stranger seated there.
The stranger was wrapped in a dark blue, grubby, travelling coat, hunched over his bucket which bartender Otohp Aikon Yalc had warily handed over. Old Otohp didn't really approve of foreigners, especially "the likes of this fella". He seemed totally obvilious to the bustle around him, concentrating on his drink.
Not just his mysterious manner induced caution. He towered over most of the yalcs. If the Aikon clan, who owned the pub, didn't make allowances for foreigners in the construction of the building, this foreigner would never have gotten in. This stranger was well over 3 feet tall, maybe even reaching 4 feet. he had a long grizzled beard, brown splotched with gray. That was all he allowed the casual yalc observer to see.
Nekia and friends didn't take notice of the stranger after the first glance. Ydegart had a tale to tell them than "my uncle Rammag told me. Now being the Emarf that he is, he says the was in the Eveileb few days ago. Must have been last wednesday was it?"
"Not wednesday Ydegart," Oisac interrupted. "he was visiting poor old sick Ainellim Ztir like."
"Now i don't rightly know." Ydegart conceded. "but some time recently. He just came back from rambling in the forest. well, my Uncle Remmag, he was in Eveileb and believe it or not, the old bungler got lost. So he was wandering around tryin' to find his way and he reached the other side of Eveileb. You know, the side that's Outside."
Ydegart paused for a dramatic effect. He took a swig of his beer while the others exchanged significant looks.
"Well anyway," Ydegart continued, wiping foam from his mouth. "My uncle Remmag thought he'd have a look-see at what's happenin', since he was already Outside. So he climbed a tree. Huge tree. Must have been as tall as Evas is wide. Dunno how he climbed it. Must be the Emarf in him. Y'know we Emarfs are all atheletic."
The group nodded appreciatively. Ydegart smiled fondly at the memory of his uncle climbing a tree.
"So he climbed the tree to look outside?" Nekia prompted.
"Yup he did. So after climbing that huge tree, guess what he saw?" Again Ydegart paused for drama. "he saw, far off mind you, but close enough for him to see. He saw burning. said it was like a whole village was burning. black smoke and all. said that there was a thing like a black river coming from the village, only there never was no river there. 'Parently, t'was people moving. Headed for the old Lassen road. Migratin' like. Leaving the land."
"Now that's something i haven't heard of for years!" Reggit exclaimed. "now who'd be migratin'? to where? and why? Never had so much movement ever, if your uncle Rammag's report be true."
Nekia recalled something he had heard recently. "i heard that there's some huge, massive social upheaval way up north. revolution or something. war? anyway, someone killed someone important and took over his place."
"Yes i heard"Oisac contributed with almost obscene cheerfulness. "heard bout the killin' thing. called assassination like. also heard that this new guy loves power and control and wants to conquer land. That's it!" He slapped his hand on the bar triumphantly. The stranger looked up at him. Old Otohp looked askance at him. "this new fella wuz tryin' to conquer new lands like. They're resistin' so he burned them. So they're forced to run."
"that makes sense." Nekia said. "but unfortunately, there's no real evidence. if this fella's so bent on land, how come he hasn't come here? hate to say it but Naidirem's really open to attacks from Outside. yet we've been ok so far. why?"
"You sayin' my Uncle Remmag ain't real evidence?!" Ydegart irritably retorted.
"Nekia doesn't mean that." Oisac tried to calm him down. "what he means is that, like, all we're talking bout is that we need like, something more concrete to go by, get my meanin'? Coz it's important lie. It's best to hear from more reliable news. Eyewitnesses like, or Outside villagers."
"Ya want eyewitness news? I could give ya an earful, i could." a gruff, unfamiliar voice stage whispered.
This night was no different. Nekia Nebur Yalc slid into his usual seat at the pub and was immediately joined by his friends Reggit Sirhc Yalc, Oisac Ovon Yalc and Ydegart Emarf Yalc. Every evening since time immemorial, they had met at the same spot. Except that, instead of the usually empty seat next to Oisac, there was now a stranger seated there.
The stranger was wrapped in a dark blue, grubby, travelling coat, hunched over his bucket which bartender Otohp Aikon Yalc had warily handed over. Old Otohp didn't really approve of foreigners, especially "the likes of this fella". He seemed totally obvilious to the bustle around him, concentrating on his drink.
Not just his mysterious manner induced caution. He towered over most of the yalcs. If the Aikon clan, who owned the pub, didn't make allowances for foreigners in the construction of the building, this foreigner would never have gotten in. This stranger was well over 3 feet tall, maybe even reaching 4 feet. he had a long grizzled beard, brown splotched with gray. That was all he allowed the casual yalc observer to see.
Nekia and friends didn't take notice of the stranger after the first glance. Ydegart had a tale to tell them than "my uncle Rammag told me. Now being the Emarf that he is, he says the was in the Eveileb few days ago. Must have been last wednesday was it?"
"Not wednesday Ydegart," Oisac interrupted. "he was visiting poor old sick Ainellim Ztir like."
"Now i don't rightly know." Ydegart conceded. "but some time recently. He just came back from rambling in the forest. well, my Uncle Remmag, he was in Eveileb and believe it or not, the old bungler got lost. So he was wandering around tryin' to find his way and he reached the other side of Eveileb. You know, the side that's Outside."
Ydegart paused for a dramatic effect. He took a swig of his beer while the others exchanged significant looks.
"Well anyway," Ydegart continued, wiping foam from his mouth. "My uncle Remmag thought he'd have a look-see at what's happenin', since he was already Outside. So he climbed a tree. Huge tree. Must have been as tall as Evas is wide. Dunno how he climbed it. Must be the Emarf in him. Y'know we Emarfs are all atheletic."
The group nodded appreciatively. Ydegart smiled fondly at the memory of his uncle climbing a tree.
"So he climbed the tree to look outside?" Nekia prompted.
"Yup he did. So after climbing that huge tree, guess what he saw?" Again Ydegart paused for drama. "he saw, far off mind you, but close enough for him to see. He saw burning. said it was like a whole village was burning. black smoke and all. said that there was a thing like a black river coming from the village, only there never was no river there. 'Parently, t'was people moving. Headed for the old Lassen road. Migratin' like. Leaving the land."
"Now that's something i haven't heard of for years!" Reggit exclaimed. "now who'd be migratin'? to where? and why? Never had so much movement ever, if your uncle Rammag's report be true."
Nekia recalled something he had heard recently. "i heard that there's some huge, massive social upheaval way up north. revolution or something. war? anyway, someone killed someone important and took over his place."
"Yes i heard"Oisac contributed with almost obscene cheerfulness. "heard bout the killin' thing. called assassination like. also heard that this new guy loves power and control and wants to conquer land. That's it!" He slapped his hand on the bar triumphantly. The stranger looked up at him. Old Otohp looked askance at him. "this new fella wuz tryin' to conquer new lands like. They're resistin' so he burned them. So they're forced to run."
"that makes sense." Nekia said. "but unfortunately, there's no real evidence. if this fella's so bent on land, how come he hasn't come here? hate to say it but Naidirem's really open to attacks from Outside. yet we've been ok so far. why?"
"You sayin' my Uncle Remmag ain't real evidence?!" Ydegart irritably retorted.
"Nekia doesn't mean that." Oisac tried to calm him down. "what he means is that, like, all we're talking bout is that we need like, something more concrete to go by, get my meanin'? Coz it's important lie. It's best to hear from more reliable news. Eyewitnesses like, or Outside villagers."
"Ya want eyewitness news? I could give ya an earful, i could." a gruff, unfamiliar voice stage whispered.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Part 1: Regarding Yalcs
In a long forgotten time, there lived a race of creatures known as the yalcs. But what are yalcs exactly? well, not much is known now about the yalcs. they're all but gone from our world, retreating to the most remote places to save what's left of their cultures and traditions. now,yalcs remain only the stuff of fairy tales and legends.
A word on the physique of yalcs. they are small, averaging 1 to 2 feet in height. the tallest yalc ever recorded was Aramat Eyaf Yalc of the Eyaf clan. measuring 3 feet 2 inches, she towered over the rest of the yalcs. apparently the Eyaf clan had some Tiboh blood on the maternal side, hence rendering most Eyafs taller than regular yalcs. Moving on, yalcs generally prefer to be socially independent, but they do take to company when the mood arises. they take an interest in things happening around them but seldom take an active part in it. even in those days, a yalc settlement consisting more than 2 clans at one time was rare.
Height is not the only thing which physically sets these yalcs apart. the yalc skins possess an inherent defense system. increased adrenaline flow causes the yalc skin to harden, forming a natural protective layer. the degree of hardening varies among yalcs. the skins of the yalcs of the Ohay clan were considered the hardest, able to deflect spears and even sword thrusts. some yalcs have learned to induce hardening at will. this feature has proven both a blessing (offering protection without having to carry cumbersome armour) and a curse (foreign hunters looking for yalc skin profits).
Fragmented as the yalcs appeared to be, they were, supposedly, united under one leader, the dominant Enoza clan. majority of the yalcs boasted a distant relation to the Enoza clan. most claims cannot be confirmed though there are some cases where the relation is proven. the Enozas were generally fat and homely, with a penchant for minding other people's business. hence the dominance and supposed leadership.
the yalcs occupied a large area of land known as Naidirem. this land stretched from the River Etihw in the south to the peaks of the Zifgnir Mountains in the east. it's northern and western boundaries are not clearly defined as it lay within the mysterious realms of the Eveileb forest. the various yalc clans were scattered all over Naidirem with the great Evas Lake being the absolute centre of the land.
Decnavda was regarded as the lingua franca for contact with those outside Naidirem boundaries. most yalcs are proficient in Decnavda although it is not commonly spoken among the clans. yalcs do have a unique language of their own, simply known as Enilec. here's a sampling of their speech. "good morning, nice day" in Decnavda, can be translated into "Oogday inromgnay, ecinay adyay" in Enilec, the suffix '-ay' being an annoying sound to the untrained ear, but a time honored suffix tradition to the yalcs.
the preservation of traditions and customs are important to the yalcs. to break tradition is to be Ehtoray, outcast from the community and land. in the really extreme cases, Ehtoray are sentenced to permanent exile. there has not been an official case of Ehtoray for more than a century, although there were reports of potential Ehtoray throwing themselves into the Evas Lake or disappearing into the Eveileb forest rather than face judgement. Ehtoray is considered the ultimate shame and an irrevesible status, lower than the lowest in society. never has there been a redeemed Ehtoray in the history of Naidirem. Until now.
A word on the physique of yalcs. they are small, averaging 1 to 2 feet in height. the tallest yalc ever recorded was Aramat Eyaf Yalc of the Eyaf clan. measuring 3 feet 2 inches, she towered over the rest of the yalcs. apparently the Eyaf clan had some Tiboh blood on the maternal side, hence rendering most Eyafs taller than regular yalcs. Moving on, yalcs generally prefer to be socially independent, but they do take to company when the mood arises. they take an interest in things happening around them but seldom take an active part in it. even in those days, a yalc settlement consisting more than 2 clans at one time was rare.
Height is not the only thing which physically sets these yalcs apart. the yalc skins possess an inherent defense system. increased adrenaline flow causes the yalc skin to harden, forming a natural protective layer. the degree of hardening varies among yalcs. the skins of the yalcs of the Ohay clan were considered the hardest, able to deflect spears and even sword thrusts. some yalcs have learned to induce hardening at will. this feature has proven both a blessing (offering protection without having to carry cumbersome armour) and a curse (foreign hunters looking for yalc skin profits).
Fragmented as the yalcs appeared to be, they were, supposedly, united under one leader, the dominant Enoza clan. majority of the yalcs boasted a distant relation to the Enoza clan. most claims cannot be confirmed though there are some cases where the relation is proven. the Enozas were generally fat and homely, with a penchant for minding other people's business. hence the dominance and supposed leadership.
the yalcs occupied a large area of land known as Naidirem. this land stretched from the River Etihw in the south to the peaks of the Zifgnir Mountains in the east. it's northern and western boundaries are not clearly defined as it lay within the mysterious realms of the Eveileb forest. the various yalc clans were scattered all over Naidirem with the great Evas Lake being the absolute centre of the land.
Decnavda was regarded as the lingua franca for contact with those outside Naidirem boundaries. most yalcs are proficient in Decnavda although it is not commonly spoken among the clans. yalcs do have a unique language of their own, simply known as Enilec. here's a sampling of their speech. "good morning, nice day" in Decnavda, can be translated into "Oogday inromgnay, ecinay adyay" in Enilec, the suffix '-ay' being an annoying sound to the untrained ear, but a time honored suffix tradition to the yalcs.
the preservation of traditions and customs are important to the yalcs. to break tradition is to be Ehtoray, outcast from the community and land. in the really extreme cases, Ehtoray are sentenced to permanent exile. there has not been an official case of Ehtoray for more than a century, although there were reports of potential Ehtoray throwing themselves into the Evas Lake or disappearing into the Eveileb forest rather than face judgement. Ehtoray is considered the ultimate shame and an irrevesible status, lower than the lowest in society. never has there been a redeemed Ehtoray in the history of Naidirem. Until now.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
interesting stuff
i found out something interesting about my family. except for one cousin, all those in my generation ie all my cousins on my father's side, all don't like eating durian. ya. even those cousins whose parents own a durian plantation don't like it. cool. wonder if it's genetic. hmm.... interesting
next, me n one of my girlfriends were talking about clay aiken yesterday and we believe that he's a girl in disguise. seriously. listen to his range. look at the eyes and figure. i tell you, he'll probably look great in drag. imagine that.<
you know how at orchard road and those popular tourist spots there's now armed patrol walking around? well, when i was in sentosa recently, i noticed that there wasn't a single armed guard around. is the govt trying to say that sentosa is immune to terrorist attacks? or that sentosa is not important enough to warrant armed patrols?
there's the new fire pepsi in stores right? i don't know what it tastes like but let's just look at the name, fire pepsi. the other day, i saw a can of fire pepsi. it had frost crystals growing on it. how ironic.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Dear Diary...
well, it's a new year. 2005. couldn't have been more different in my life. i've never felt so free since before i started school life. :D woah. but the downside of it is...i don't know what to do with myself now. supposed to teach andrew for my pocket money. i think i'll vomit blood before that. yesterday he really scared me by not knowing how to divide fractions and forgetting how to complete the square for quadratic equations. *shock shock horror horror* i really hope he's just playing around with me. i constantly think that he should have ddropped amaths. it's a liability. he'll be better off forgetting it and concentrating on something else eg chem or chinese. ok lah, it's only the beginning of the year. maybe he'll pick up eventually.
other stuff. the mj choir is having their orientation one of these days. hope the coming batch is better and lives up to expectations. went down the other day for the alumni meeting and got the full picture of the situation. the attendance thing is only a small part of the whole story. found out that it's not totally their fault that kwei is leaving. anyway, kwei says he'll stay on ren qing. so they better be darn nice to kwei these few times. induce him to stay. but they need support too. so hopefully the alumni can help out here. problem is that most of the guys except paulus are going to army. don't know what's going to happen when that happens. the gals aren't exactly an active group. well, we'll see.
the church choir had their meeting the other day. now i have 2 posts. cantoring and apprentice organist. i guess it's ok. more stressed about cantoring thing. but it'll be ok after a while. made andrew sing the response in his silent night voice. he's so pissed. but i hope he follows my advice cos he sounds real good with his silent night voice, compared to ususally. more choral than throaty. hoping he can pull it off on sunday.
i don't believe i'm saying this but i actually miss going to school. i cannot believe i'm saying that i miss naresh. seriously. really miss going to school, attending lects and tuts, miss ho, mdm yew, dr s, mdm heng. miss hanging around with my friends esp the choir and lit lects. miss looking out for my crush. btw, monday, at 6.45 am, dr s msged me "wake up! wake up! you're all late for school!!" gave me a shock cos i panicked. what if i got it wrong and i'm supposed to be in school?! but sadly, not.
next, in case people are wondering about me n my crush, i saw him the other day. he said he'll write to me. still haven't though. hate to say this but very likely he won't. but i'll think better of him, maybe he'll write.
other stuff. the mj choir is having their orientation one of these days. hope the coming batch is better and lives up to expectations. went down the other day for the alumni meeting and got the full picture of the situation. the attendance thing is only a small part of the whole story. found out that it's not totally their fault that kwei is leaving. anyway, kwei says he'll stay on ren qing. so they better be darn nice to kwei these few times. induce him to stay. but they need support too. so hopefully the alumni can help out here. problem is that most of the guys except paulus are going to army. don't know what's going to happen when that happens. the gals aren't exactly an active group. well, we'll see.
the church choir had their meeting the other day. now i have 2 posts. cantoring and apprentice organist. i guess it's ok. more stressed about cantoring thing. but it'll be ok after a while. made andrew sing the response in his silent night voice. he's so pissed. but i hope he follows my advice cos he sounds real good with his silent night voice, compared to ususally. more choral than throaty. hoping he can pull it off on sunday.
i don't believe i'm saying this but i actually miss going to school. i cannot believe i'm saying that i miss naresh. seriously. really miss going to school, attending lects and tuts, miss ho, mdm yew, dr s, mdm heng. miss hanging around with my friends esp the choir and lit lects. miss looking out for my crush. btw, monday, at 6.45 am, dr s msged me "wake up! wake up! you're all late for school!!" gave me a shock cos i panicked. what if i got it wrong and i'm supposed to be in school?! but sadly, not.
next, in case people are wondering about me n my crush, i saw him the other day. he said he'll write to me. still haven't though. hate to say this but very likely he won't. but i'll think better of him, maybe he'll write.
watching clay aiken's video clips now. omg!!! i just love him. he's taken over my celeb idol status from david copperfield. OMG! people that can't get enough of clay, go to this site for american idol clips of clay. http://www.claytonaiken.com/thatvoice.asp i'm a bit lagging i think. :D the new american idol is coming up already and i'm still at this season. haha! who cares?!
Sunday, January 02, 2005
blessing in disguise?
"the man of knowledge must find a way to turn defeat into victory"
the recent disasters make it seem that what has happened is a defeat. just think, the number of deaths here far exceeds the number in the september 11 disaster. but the results of this disaster can't be more different from then. i think it's an eucatastrophe. the mighty hand of god at work.
to explain: looking beyond the obvious physical devestation. the result of september 11 disaster is a world becoming fragmented and war torn. suspicions, distrust, hatred, discrimination... but the result of this tsunami disaster is a world bonding together, helping the victims and survivors. no one stopped to think "hey, indonesia is a muslim country. what if the aid money is going right into osama's hands?!" no. no one thought about that. they all just thought "here's fellow human beings in trouble and we've gotta help them." it forced people to think about their own existance and their relationships with those they love and cherish. i guess this is the blessing of such a disaster. how we can turn the defeat into victory.
the eucatastrophe. it has brought the world closer and forced them to think about their fellow people as people and not as potential enemies. and this is a good thing for our world.
could it be a hidden sign from god that 2005 will be a better year for intercountry relationships? is it a really a blessing or a disaster? think about it.
the recent disasters make it seem that what has happened is a defeat. just think, the number of deaths here far exceeds the number in the september 11 disaster. but the results of this disaster can't be more different from then. i think it's an eucatastrophe. the mighty hand of god at work.
to explain: looking beyond the obvious physical devestation. the result of september 11 disaster is a world becoming fragmented and war torn. suspicions, distrust, hatred, discrimination... but the result of this tsunami disaster is a world bonding together, helping the victims and survivors. no one stopped to think "hey, indonesia is a muslim country. what if the aid money is going right into osama's hands?!" no. no one thought about that. they all just thought "here's fellow human beings in trouble and we've gotta help them." it forced people to think about their own existance and their relationships with those they love and cherish. i guess this is the blessing of such a disaster. how we can turn the defeat into victory.
the eucatastrophe. it has brought the world closer and forced them to think about their fellow people as people and not as potential enemies. and this is a good thing for our world.
could it be a hidden sign from god that 2005 will be a better year for intercountry relationships? is it a really a blessing or a disaster? think about it.
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